THE RHYMING STAG
We write your perfect, witty wedding speech in rhyme
Sample Poem
Harry & Meghan
... and so we’re gathered here for Harry
And the lass that he did marry.
A radiant, strong and caring girl
It’s true she rocks my brothers world.
Friends agree, she has ‘a sparkle’.
We think this SUITS Ms Meghan Markle.
But back to Haz, this ginger brute
Loves to follow a pursuit.
At Eton he did excel
At polo and rugby, can’t you tell?
Actually Harry’s let things go,
Sorry someone had to tell you bro...
Now you’ve mocked my hair in the past
But your ginger wisps are looking sparse.
Although the youngest is the fave,
Pa insists you need a shave.
It’s fair to say that in his youth
Harry was wild to tell the truth.
No he did not always conform
(Can I mention THAT dodgy uniform?)
Yes, my party loving brother
Loves a good time like no other.
Years ago near one Beaufort home,
We did frequent the Rattlebone.
And just as Clinton once regaled
I attest that Harry did not inhale.
Of course a picture of Haz was snapped
And for money reached the paps.
Quite frankly Pa always told THIS son
Enjoy your youth, have lots of fun.
Harry has taken this advice and taught
His younger cousins- just don't get caught!
This ginger warrior also saw no malice
When he ventured from the Palace
On a raucous stag-do trip
To the notorious Las Vegas strip.
Of course at least the press
Were relieved he left his fancy dress.
But seriously we are proud of you
Brother, for all you do.
Your army years, Afghanistan
Are not just what made you the man
You are today. There’s so much more...
But I promised Cath I wouldn’t bore
You all and therefore so it goes,
It’s time to bring this to a close.
Most of all you have achieved
The Invictus Games, one can’t believe
How dedicated, loyal and true
Harry, we’re all so proud of you.
Lastly brother, here’s the thing
One of us has to be King.
To Harry and Megan
Sample Poem
Harry & Meghan
... and so we’re gathered here for Harry
And the lass that he did marry.
A radiant, strong and caring girl
It’s true she rocks my brothers world.
Friends agree, she has ‘a sparkle’.
We think this SUITS Ms Meghan Markle.
But back to Haz, this ginger brute
Loves to follow a pursuit.
At Eton he did excel
At polo and rugby, can’t you tell?
Actually Harry’s let things go,
Sorry someone had to tell you bro...
Now you’ve mocked my hair in the past
But your ginger wisps are looking sparse.
Although the youngest is the fave,
Pa insists you need a shave.
It’s fair to say that in his youth
Harry was wild to tell the truth.
No he did not always conform
(Can I mention THAT dodgy uniform?)
Yes, my party loving brother
Loves a good time like no other.
Years ago near one Beaufort home,
We did frequent the Rattlebone.
And just as Clinton once regaled
I attest that Harry did not inhale.
Of course a picture of Haz was snapped
And for money reached the paps.
Quite frankly Pa always told THIS son
Enjoy your youth, have lots of fun.
Harry has taken this advice and taught
His younger cousins- just don't get caught!
This ginger warrior also saw no malice
When he ventured from the Palace
On a raucous stag-do trip
To the notorious Las Vegas strip.
Of course at least the press
Were relieved he left his fancy dress.
But seriously we are proud of you
Brother, for all you do.
Your army years, Afghanistan
Are not just what made you the man
You are today. There’s so much more...
But I promised Cath I wouldn’t bore
You all and therefore so it goes,
It’s time to bring this to a close.
Most of all you have achieved
The Invictus Games, one can’t believe
How dedicated, loyal and true
Harry, we’re all so proud of you.
Lastly brother, here’s the thing
One of us has to be King.
To Harry and Megan
Sample Poems
Harry & Meghan
... and so we’re gathered here for Harry
And the lass that he did marry.
A radiant, strong and caring girl
It’s true she rocks my brothers world.
Friends agree, she has ‘a sparkle’.
We think this SUITS Ms Meghan Markle.
But back to Haz, this ginger brute
Loves to follow a pursuit.
At Eton he did excel
At polo and rugby, can’t you tell?
Actually Harry’s let things go,
Sorry someone had to tell you bro...
Now you’ve mocked my hair in the past
But your ginger wisps are looking sparse.
Although the youngest is the fave,
Pa insists you need a shave.
It’s fair to say that in his youth
Harry was wild to tell the truth.
No he did not always conform
(Can I mention THAT dodgy uniform?)
Yes, my party loving brother
Loves a good time like no other.
Years ago near one Beaufort home,
We did frequent the Rattlebone.
And just as Clinton once regaled
I attest that Harry did not inhale.
Of course a picture of Haz was snapped
And for money reached the paps.
Quite frankly Pa always told THIS son
Enjoy your youth, have lots of fun.
Harry has taken this advice and taught
His younger cousins- just don't get caught!
This ginger warrior also saw no malice
When he ventured from the Palace
On a raucous stag-do trip
To the notorious Las Vegas strip.
Of course at least the press
Were relieved he left his fancy dress.
But seriously we are proud of you
Brother, for all you do.
Your army years, Afghanistan
Are not just what made you the man
You are today. There’s so much more...
But I promised Cath I wouldn’t bore
You all and therefore so it goes,
It’s time to bring this to a close.
Most of all you have achieved
The Invictus Games, one can’t believe
How dedicated, loyal and true
Harry, we’re all so proud of you.
Lastly brother, here’s the thing
One of us has to be King.
Excerpt from a Father of the Bride Poem
.....My hair has all but disappeared,
Thanks to this child I reared.
She hated the fact you know,
That I cut her hair and so
Embarrassed was she of her head,
She wore her brownie hat to bed.
It’s not true that I used a bowl,
I found a colander the perfect mould.
Fran loves an arm wrestle – no joke-
She’d happily take on any bloke.
It’s true that as a tiny thing,
She’d take her brothers on and win
A pocket rocket playing sport-
Her sibling mantra ‘don’t get caught’.
She captained her school lacrosse team
And gained a Welsh cap aged fifteen.
She was also pretty good in school,
Breaking only the occasional rule.
A three year blip in her behaviour
(Alas she was a 90s raver).
And so, this fallen teacher’s pet
Was caught with a cigarette.
Subsequently we were told
She’d been selling them to the year below!
Admitting she had charged them double,
Miss L was now in lots of trouble.
Sadly, she gave not a hoot,
Satisfied with her fags and loot.
Another time she racked up quite a bill
On MY account with William Hill.
I didn’t find this very funny,
And it wasn’t just the waste of money,
I felt it was pretty bleak
She had her father’s losing streak.
She once also reversed my Jag,
In her quest to buy more fags.
I struggled not to explode
The garage was only down the road.....
Excerpt from Bride Speech
.....And so to where it all began
A pub – of course - with my friend Sam
Nick was indeed my good pal’s brother
A strapping toy boy like no other
I fibbed…said I liked extreme sports
He bragged he had a boat in port
I fell for wealth, he fell for wit
But nonetheless no date was fixed
At Glastonbury, we met again
I dazed him with my music ken
Just to be nice, I took his hand
Like that it stayed from band to band
And though we somehow lost the crowd
A goodnight kiss was not allowed
But still we stayed in touch it’s true
Talk of Paris and off I flew
We drank fine wine, dined à la carte
This guy knew good grub fuelled my heart
He romanced me around the Med
And thus our love affair was fed
What of all that hotel trouble?
Champagne, hot tub, soap & bubbles
I promise no one came to harm
...though we set off the fire alarm
So much laughter through that summer
Then came the enormous bummer
Alas to Oz his flight was booked!
What should I do now I was hooked?
A year of far-flung dates ensued
More talk of boats and I was wooed
I packed my bags and joined him there
(Yes, much to Brad Pitt’s huge despair...)
Oh what a blast, those Sydney days
Sun surf sand - all those clichés
And overheard at any party
“Darl chuck more shrimps on the barbie!”
But soon enough then came the time
To try a London life of grime
Not before we’d donned our backpacks
Flown the globe and eaten fruit bats
Memories made and all this done
I knew right there, he was The One
Finally Nick had to admit
Yes, he should put a ring on it
So whilst on hols, dropped to his knee
I thought he’d got an injury
Until a little box unfurled...
He guessed that gems would ROCK my world
I said yes that’s no mystery
The rest I s’pose is history.....